Boiled Before Boarding and Other Modern Rituals
In this article
Gadget obsession has reached a fever pitch. These days, it’s not enough to have a kettle — it must connect to WiFi, boil remotely, and text you when it’s lonely. We are living in the golden age of unnecessary tech, where every socket’s in use and every drawer’s a museum of failed promises.
Britain’s gadget obsession isn’t just a passing trend. It’s a full-blown domestic epidemic, fuelled by boredom, marketing, and the promise of convenience.
The Cult of Convenience (Even When It’s Inconvenient)
You can now unlock your front door with your face, voice, or heartbeat. You can turn on your oven from the office. Your lightbulbs are programmable, your mirror critiques your skincare, and your toothbrush gently reminds you that you’re slacking. This is peak gadget obsession: a lifestyle where everything is “smart,” except possibly us.
We don’t just own gadgets — we emotionally bond with them, then replace them annually. Because in this tech-soaked economy, nothing says love like an upgrade.
When ‘Smart’ Means Needy and Expensive
The smart bin opens when you approach, sulks when it’s full, and occasionally throws a tantrum requiring a reboot. The air fryer connects to Alexa. The scales judge you aloud. It’s not convenience anymore — it’s a chorus of digital backseat drivers.
This isn’t efficiency; it’s an anxiety attack with a USB-C port. But our collective gadget obsession means we’ll tolerate it, as long as it means shaving five seconds off the toast cycle.
Boiling the Kettle Before You Even Get Home
Let’s talk about the big one. The WiFi kettle. Why? Because apparently, gadget obsession demands that you never wait 40 seconds for boiling water like a savage. Now you can summon a cuppa via smartphone while still in traffic. Never mind that you’ll inevitably forget you’ve boiled it, walk past it anyway, and have to boil it again.
Progress.
The Drawer of Broken Promises
A shrine to our failed relationships with tech:
- USB-powered coffee warmer
- Bluetooth plant moisture sensor
- Egg-shaped egg timer that connects to WiFi (somehow)
- Avocado peeler
- The original iPod (still works, can’t bear to bin it)
This is the graveyard of gadget obsession. A museum of bad decisions, all still tangled in that one universal charging cable nobody remembers buying.
The Rise of the Half-Used App
Part of modern gadget obsession isn’t just the stuff we buy — it’s the digital debris we carry around. Open your phone right now. Chances are, you’ve got three meditation apps, a calorie tracker you ghosted in February, and something called “Smart Spoon Sync” that you downloaded drunk because it sounded futuristic.
Our devices are littered with good intentions: the 30-day fitness challenge (you made it to day 4), the sleep tracker that made you more anxious, the productivity app you forgot to open because you were too busy updating your WiFi doorbell.
The truth is, these apps are the software soulmates of our physical gadget clutter — shiny, persuasive, and ultimately abandoned faster than last year’s smoothie maker. But we keep downloading. Because the gadget obsession isn’t really about need. It’s about hope. Hope that the next download is the one that finally sorts your life out.
Are We Addicted to Our Own Inefficiency?
We tell ourselves it’s all about efficiency. Time-saving. Wellness. But secretly, we’re just magpies — mesmerised by shiny things that beep.
The real kicker? The gadgets are getting more needy than toddlers. Everything wants charging, syncing, updating. And half of them now have opinions. One day your kettle will flat-out refuse to work until you hydrate.
Still, the gadget obsession rolls on. Because what if the next gadget is the one that finally makes your life easier?
💬 Reader Comments
- Got a smart gadget you regret?
- Found a bit of tech that actually made your life better?
- Do you think we’ve crossed the line from helpful to hysterical?Gadget obsession has reached a fever pitch. These days, it’s not enough to have a kettle — it must connect to WiFi, boil remotely, and text you when it’s lonely. We are living in the golden age of unnecessary tech, where every socket’s in use and every drawer’s a museum of failed promises.
Britain’s gadget obsession isn’t just a passing trend. It’s a full-blown domestic epidemic, fuelled by boredom, marketing, and the promise of convenience.
The Cult of Convenience (Even When It’s Inconvenient)
You can now unlock your front door with your face, voice, or heartbeat. You can turn on your oven from the office. Your lightbulbs are programmable, your mirror critiques your skincare, and your toothbrush gently reminds you that you’re slacking. This is peak gadget obsession: a lifestyle where everything is “smart,” except possibly us.
We don’t just own gadgets — we emotionally bond with them, then replace them annually. Because in this tech-soaked economy, nothing says love like an upgrade.
When ‘Smart’ Means Needy and Expensive
The smart bin opens when you approach, sulks when it’s full, and occasionally throws a tantrum requiring a reboot. The air fryer connects to Alexa. The scales judge you aloud. It’s not convenience anymore — it’s a chorus of digital backseat drivers.
This isn’t efficiency; it’s an anxiety attack with a USB-C port, the same kind of hyper-connected chaos we explored in our AI gadget trends piece.
But our collective gadget obsession means we’ll tolerate it, as long as it means shaving five seconds off the toast cycle.
Boiling the Kettle Before You Even Get Home
Let’s talk about the big one. The WiFi kettle. Why? Because apparently, gadget obsession demands that you never wait 40 seconds for boiling water like a savage. Now you can summon a cuppa via smartphone while still in traffic. Never mind that you’ll inevitably forget you’ve boiled it, walk past it anyway, and have to boil it again.
Progress.
The Drawer of Broken Promises
A shrine to our failed relationships with tech:
USB-powered coffee warmer
Bluetooth plant moisture sensor
Egg-shaped egg timer that connects to WiFi (somehow)
Avocado peeler
The original iPod (still works, can’t bear to bin it)
This is the graveyard of gadget obsession. A museum of bad decisions, all still tangled in that one universal charging cable nobody remembers buying.
The Rise of the Half-Used App
Part of modern gadget obsession isn’t just the stuff we buy — it’s the digital debris we carry around. Open your phone right now. Chances are, you’ve got three meditation apps, a calorie tracker you ghosted in February, and something called “Smart Spoon Sync” that you downloaded drunk because it sounded futuristic.
Our devices are littered with good intentions: the 30-day fitness challenge (you made it to day 4), the sleep tracker that made you more anxious, the productivity app you forgot to open because you were too busy updating your WiFi doorbell.
The truth is, these apps are the software soulmates of our physical gadget clutter — shiny, persuasive, and ultimately abandoned faster than last year’s smoothie maker. But we keep downloading. Because the gadget obsession isn’t really about need. It’s about hope. Hope that the next download is the one that finally sorts your life out.
And if you’re already feeling this pressure, our digital lifestyle article breaks down how these patterns are reshaping everything — including how we work, shop, and sleep.
Are We Addicted to Our Own Inefficiency?
We tell ourselves it’s all about efficiency. Time-saving. Wellness. But secretly, we’re just magpies — mesmerised by shiny things that beep.
The real kicker? The gadgets are getting more needy than toddlers. Everything wants charging, syncing, updating. And half of them now have opinions. One day your kettle will flat-out refuse to work until you hydrate.
Still, the gadget obsession rolls on. Because what if the next gadget is the one that finally makes your life easier? It’s a theme that echoes through our modern convenience satire series, where even the family dog might get an app.
Reader Comments
Got a smart gadget you regret?
Found a bit of tech that actually made your life better?
Do you think we’ve crossed the line from helpful to hysterical?
👇 Pop your thoughts in the comments. Just don’t let your fridge read them.
We want to hear your what you have to say